Class Reflection

This course really challenged me. I am used to my creativity and confidence to carry me through my classes. (that was a lot of "C's" in that sentence) But, this class forced me to work harder than I have before, by literally slapping me with a much lower grade than i am used to. It motivated me to go above and beyond to improve my numbers on the next two papers. Writing 100 lit a proverbial fire under me and I am grateful for it.
The material we covered was generally interesting and relevant but, I am not against saying that I hated The Glass Castle, it was far too visceral and cathartic for me to read. I avoid subjects that incite negative emotional responses from readers. In this I am adamant, the world is far too horrible to immerse oneself in it for entertainment purposes.
A suggestion I can make for future courses would be to offer a variety of movies to choose from to watch and then research. I enjoyed The Queen of Versailles, but would have loved to write about the movie of my choice. If students are researching something they feel passionate, about, they will  be inspired to perform better.
I often write creatively on the side, and will continue to do so for practice. (And will continue to utilize the writing center, even though i might end up working there.)

Research Reflection

Over the course of my first year at college I grew very comfortable doing research. I was a part of the Forensic speech and debate team where a large part of our work in preparing speeches was compiling research material to make what we were saying relevant. I have become adept at finding sources and can do so fairly quickly, this skill has served me well while writing research papers. 

This course is probably the first that has required me to use the school's databases and library extensively. All of the research i conducted before took place on the internet, and it served me well. But now, I have the knowledge to use both. I have never had trouble finding materials in our library, however...my only complaint would be that the majority of the art history books that i am interested in and are required for my major, are practically located in the seventh pit of hell on the third floor. 

I used to dread writing research papers, this course has helped alleviate that apprehension by giving me the opportunity to write about a topic that I chose. 

Jackie Siegel is without a doubt an interesting character. I say character because that is what she is portrayed as. She is a portrait of what average people expect of the extremely wealthy. The filmmakers did this intentionally to invoke emotional responses in the viewers, "give the people what they want." In no way can this movie be viewed without a certain degree of hesitation and disbelief on the part of the viewer. Every shot, every line was used for a reason. Nothing in unintentional. Especially Jackie's portrayal as this over-indulgent, materialistic, disconnected "queen".
Of course I understand that there is at least some truth to be found in reality television. But just like a lawyer during a cross examination, filmmakers utilize only the material that will help them make their point, even if it does not portray the subjects in a positive light. Due to this, I believe that I could have a different perspective on Jackie, if given the opportunity to do so. The film was originally made to document the construction of the Siegel's grand home, so of course the director focused on finery and opulence. However, if the subject was about dysfunctional marriages or the rigors of running a large corporation, the movie would have a very different flavor.
If the 2008 crash had not happened, there would be little substance to this documentary. It would be along the lines of Real Housewives of *insert random wealthy north american city here* (or more so than it already is.....) If this was the case, I would have absolutely hated this movie. Without question.
However, I appreciated it because it is far more than a documentation of a wealthy woman and her old husband. It is an examination of the effects of materialism and over-indulgence in our society today. And the effects that these vices have on people. This is accurately shown in the film when Jackie is out Christmas shopping for her children. She buys her son a bike (that is much to small for him) knowing, or perhaps forgetting) that her kids have over 30 bicycles between them. In no way did her son need the bike, or probably even want it. But it is this lack of perspective and fascination with excess coupled with good intentions and a large wallet that gives this movie its often misunderstood meaning.

This paper was easier to write than the first one. However, I still had quite a few concerns while writing it.
 The thesis was easier for me to construct, and being able to use textual sources helped the process along. What I am most focused on with this paper was trying to elevate it, the grade I received on the last one was satisfactory but I want to perform better and continue to do so. I have a writing center appointment on Monday, so i hope to get some feedback and utilize it.
This class is certainly a challenge for me, I have never had to focus extensively on a paper before. I am used to writing something, maybe editing for 1/2 an hour before turning it in. My process has completely changed and it is taking a while to get used to, as well as making me apprehensive and worried about everything I turn in.
What differed in how I wrote this essay was, I outlined what I wanted to accomplish in my thesis. found supporting evidence online as well as textual sources. It was far more pre-planning and organization. where with this last one, I simply sat down and typed as I thought. Hopefully the changes I have made will make a difference.

My family life is anything but usual or "normal", and we like it that way! I grew up with my mom, dad and lil' sis Caila; we are all very close and always there to support each other, which is something I am incredibly grateful for.

My parents had a very different style of parenting, they treated my sister and I like adults and all of their rules had a reason. If Caila or I did not agree with something they said or did, our parents would always explain why and in certain cases offer a compromise. My parents are also incredibly involved in our lives, they are always there to talk  if we need advice, go out of their way to make each day special, endure hours upon hours of theater practice and never stop supporting our dreams no matter what they are. In my opinion this is what made my sister and I into the people we are today.
As far as teenagers go, my sister and I are nothing like the ones portrayed on tv. If anything we are kinda "boring".We love reading, listening to music, watching old movies, playing video games and spending time with the family. I have never been to a "party"...you know the ones they show on Glee where everyone drinks cheap liquor out of Red Solo Cups and dances like weirdos until they all start crying or break-up or both. We were just never interested in that sort of environment, and our parents are certainly not "typical" either.

My mom is a Brazilian immigrant who comes from a loud, large family (i dont know half of my relatives on her side) and my dad is a computer programmer by day and a writer by night who wears all black, has an earring and a serious passion for anything geeky. They are the most odd couple I have ever seen. My mother has a career in insurance and is the main breadwinner, she works crazy long hours and has an hour long commute to work everyday. She was not around much when I was little, and for a while that put alot of strain on our relationship. My dad on the other hand works horrible hours (4 am to 1 pm) just so he could be home everyday after school for me and my sister, he was our "mom" growing up. He cooked, cleaned and drove us all over creation to friend's houses, after school activities, cool restaurants, book shops and weird stores that sold everything from vintage leather jackets to Santeria voodoo supplies. I did not have a "normal" childhood by any means.
I was encouraged form a very young age to pursue my passion (art) and to be strong and independent. I was able to travel extensively and gain a better understanding of the world and other cultures. Being raised Brazilian and Italian I know that you can always depend on your family, even if they make you angry sometimes. We are all loyal to a fault, and proud of it!

After reading "The Glass Castle" I appreciate all that my parents have done for me even more, because I never had to worry about where my next meal was coming from or if my dad was going to come home drunk, or not come home at all. My mother always puts her kids before herself, and is the most hard-working woman I  know. My childhood was nothing like the one depicted in the book.

Keeping all of this in mind, what is most note-worthy about my parents is how accepting and loving they are. I came out to my parents when I was just thirteen years old, and I was so scared. My mother is very religious and I was honestly worried that they were going to throw me out like I had seen parents on tv do.  But, all they did was tell me that they loved me no matter what, and if anything it has brought us closer together in the end.
 I love my family, for all of their flaws and all of their awesome qualities as well. It has not been easy on any of us. My mother suffers from depression. My dad is a struggling artist. My sister has been horrifically bullied at school and has a very low self-esteem. I am prone to dramatics and have a very short temper. But--the positive strongly outweigh the negatives and I would not trade my life for anything. Whenever I think of my family, this quote pops into my head:
"A family is a risky venture, because the greater the love, the greater the loss... That's the trade-off. But I'll take it all." (Brad Pitt) 

                    My family after a day ATV-ing in South Carolina (please ignore all the mud, it was the only pic I could find of the 4 of us at once)

 My favorite selfie in the world!!!!  

Paper Reflection 1

Writing this paper was possibly one of the most stressful experiences I have had this semester. I have always enjoyed writing and consider myself fairly good at it, so the pressure to write a "good" paper was high. There was also the added personal expectation that I placed upon myself because my dad is an author. All of those factors combined with my being a perfectionist made this paper difficult to write.
As far as process is concerned, I lack one. The only thing that I require to sit down and write is a block of time without distractions and a basic idea. I write the way I think, in a conversational tone. My fingers form the words that come into my head and little thought is given beyond that. This has served me very well in the past but due to our use of the templates in the book and text sources had to make routine stops in my work to add them in, interrupting the  rhythm that inevitably develops when I write.
The requirements hindered my progress, as well as my own trepidation in writing a college-worthy piece. I really am a perfectionist and have very high expectations for myself and my work. (I am still nervous about the piece and the grade it will receive)
What helped me finish this paper was the wonderful feedback I got in the writing center (apparently a thesis is supposed to be only one sentence) and a lot of The Black Keys music. My organization in the paper improved a great deal and I was able to formulate and stronger argument with clearer points. I received help with the parts of academic writing I most often struggle with and thus created a better product. (I can now say confidently that I can organize a paper as well as I can organize a dorm room. Which is saying a lot because I love organizing.) While I was hesitant to seek help from the writing center at first, because I did not want it to look like I "needed" the help, I am grateful that I did end up going. I highly recommend going to the writing center for future papers and will be frequenting their services often!

Education

Education motivates millions of students each year. Education is an important part of every politician's platform. Education is a privilege not granted to every child that deserves it. Education is costing me thirteen thousand dollars a year. Poor Education nearly made me give up on the whole institution altogether. The promise of a great Education kept me going.

I went to Warren Hills Regional High School in Washington, New Jersey. It was a reasonably sized school, one that serviced eight different towns yet had very little diversity. Seven of the eight towns in my school district consisted of farmland, the last one housed several "rough" neighborhoods and kids that your parents wouldn't want you to play with. Warren Hills was a school made for white, male athletes (preferably football) who had no real aspirations to leave Washington or go to college. It did not matter how much money you had or which of the eight towns you were from, what mattered was how well you could blend in with what was deemed "normal".  I was the exception to every stereotype that the school tried to place on me. I relished in the "otherness" that was me during my awkward teens. I was loved by the teachers because I spoke up in class discussions and was able to make them laugh with my often biting, sarcastic wit. I did not have a set group of friends. The more I grew up, the more determined I was to leave my small-minded home town. It was ten that I realized that I had little in common with the students around me.

My high school, according to Jean Anyon, would be dubbed "Working Class". We were taught in a highly mechanical fashion, and it was rare to find a teacher that didn't insult your intelligence or immediately put you to sleep. We were given the basics of whatever subject was assigned by the totalitarian administration and not much else. The broader concepts were never addressed. As students we never got to question why something occurred or how. We were simply expected to blindly accept whatever the teacher's spat out at us. And if we didn't understand the material, asking for help was not discouraged, but it was not proved either.
I remember being told once by a teacher in my AP US History class that I was too passionate and that I needed to tamper my creativity and exercise control in my writing. I was writing a response to one of Susan B. Anthony's feminist essays, and I was proud of the words that i'd put onto paper. But, my teacher Mr. O'Brian didn't share my enthusiasm. It was one of those moments that seem insignificant to anyone else but you. I have never altered anything I have ever said to make other people more comfortable. That was what my high school was like. Choking the intellectual, creative lifeblood of the more artistic students so that the majority could breathe easy. After spending my whole life in this school system, it motivated me to find my passion, art, and hold onto it. I am determined not to let anyone stop me or change me.
Say what you want about Warren Hills, but it gave me an out--and helped me get accepted to Cedar Crest. I may not have gone to the football games or been a "Blue Streak" but, I can love my school for getting me to college at least.